I am now 28 weeks pregnant. I am now in my third trimester. I am nearing the end of my pregnancy. I am so happy to be experiencing this. I love feeling our baby move around and get hiccups. I love feeling tiny movements that no one else can feel. Sometimes when she’s super active in my belly, I try to call someone over to feel it and she stops. It’s almost like she’s moving just for me.
I only have 10 or so weeks to go. The nursery is not set up. I don’t even know what diapers to buy. I don’t even have a birth plan. I’m afraid of the pain. I don’t want to bleed for weeks after. I’m afraid my endometriosis pain will come back once our baby arrives. There’s so much unknown.
These two sides of my brain are battling each other these days. I told my mom the other day that I wanted the baby to stay inside forever. She thought this was the weirdest thing she’d ever heard. She said, “Most people want their babies to come out faster.” Yes, but then I have to share all these moments with everyone else. She won’t be all mine. That’s when my mom said I was weird. Is this a weird thing to feel? Don’t get me wrong, I am so excited to meet this little human, and hold her in my arms, but a little part of me likes the way things are right now. Weird?