Scared Stiff

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How many times will I google “miscarriage rates at ___weeks?”  When will it end?  I am so frightened that this isn’t real.  Each day I assess whether my symptoms are stronger, dwindling, or the same.  To make me even more crazy, today was the day I took my last progesterone supplement.  Now I’ll have to add checking my underwear every hour for spotting to the equation (wait, I already do that.)

I really want to enjoy each day of this pregnancy, but it seems my joy is overshadowed by doubt.  I pray that in a few weeks I can be comforted by a healthy check up and that I can rest easy and enjoy growing this baby.  Although, who are we kidding, I’m probably gonna worry the entire time.

I wonder if this preoccupation with loss is heightened because of our long journey to get here, or if every fertile woman out there goes through the same predicament.  Hmm…

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4 thoughts on “Scared Stiff

  1. Definitely not the same situation, but I stopped worrying as much at 25 weeks. Once I could feel her moving around, I enjoyed pregnancy a LOT more. Hope you’re feeling better!

  2. I was the same way as Christine with both pregnancies! And even then, once I felt movement, if there was a quieter day for baby, I’d worry yet again. I think it’s just a new-mom thing! (And, by the way, a HUGE congratulations!! Beyond thrilled for you!)

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