Deep Breath


image by Zachary Smith

I had to cancel my doctor’s appointment today.  Normally, this is not a big thing, but when it has to do with fertility treatments…yeah, it’s a big thing.  It means I have to wait a whole cycle to get my Saline Infusion Sonogram done.  A whole 32-36 days.  A whole month.  I’m working really hard this morning not to have a breakdown.

Maybe you’re thinking “what’s another month?”  But it isn’t just another month.  It means we have to wait two months to even try for our first FET since you can’t transfer in the same month you do an SIS.  That means 64-72 days before we get to have our first shot at a transfer.  It means it’ll be March.  It means if it doesn’t work, I only have 3 more months to figure it out before I’m back home and far from this doctor.  This is where the deep breathing comes in.  inhale…exhale…think positive…

Think positive…

Okay, maybe this means my body will just have extra time to get into tip top shape (assuming I can relax and not stress so much).  Maybe the timing will be great if it works in the first FET cycle.  Maybe I’m learning to be more patient (as if I haven’t had enough of these lessons in the past 3 years). Maybe I’m realizing (again) that no matter how many times I look at my calendar, I cannot control what happens.  It will work out.  It will be okay.  Maybe our baby is waiting for the perfect moment to make his/her way into our lives.  Maybe I’ll take yoga to prepare my body.  Yes…I’m going to take yoga.

inhale..exhale…stay positive, now.





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