Deep Breath


image by Zachary Smith

I had to cancel my doctor’s appointment today.  Normally, this is not a big thing, but when it has to do with fertility treatments…yeah, it’s a big thing.  It means I have to wait a whole cycle to get my Saline Infusion Sonogram done.  A whole 32-36 days.  A whole month.  I’m working really hard this morning not to have a breakdown.

Maybe you’re thinking “what’s another month?”  But it isn’t just another month.  It means we have to wait two months to even try for our first FET since you can’t transfer in the same month you do an SIS.  That means 64-72 days before we get to have our first shot at a transfer.  It means it’ll be March.  It means if it doesn’t work, I only have 3 more months to figure it out before I’m back home and far from this doctor.  This is where the deep breathing comes in.  inhale…exhale…think positive…

Think positive…

Okay, maybe this means my body will just have extra time to get into tip top shape (assuming I can relax and not stress so much).  Maybe the timing will be great if it works in the first FET cycle.  Maybe I’m learning to be more patient (as if I haven’t had enough of these lessons in the past 3 years). Maybe I’m realizing (again) that no matter how many times I look at my calendar, I cannot control what happens.  It will work out.  It will be okay.  Maybe our baby is waiting for the perfect moment to make his/her way into our lives.  Maybe I’ll take yoga to prepare my body.  Yes…I’m going to take yoga.

inhale..exhale…stay positive, now.





What’s Your Problem?

This afternoon I had coffee with a dear friend and learned so much about her experience and challenges with her family.  It was a soul baring conversation and it really reminded me that everyone has their challenges in life, whether it be with one’s family, marriage, health, career…there is not a single person out there who leads a charmed life.  And if they appear to, they are really great at creating illusions.

This is not news, I know.  But, I cannot help but dwell on this fact of life for just a minute more.  It makes me so grateful that my challenges are not with my family.  My challenge is with my reproductive organs.  It’s such a relief that my family helps make that challenge a little more manageable as opposed to magnifying it.  I guess it also makes me wonder why we get faced with the problems that we do, and whether I would be as strong as someone else who is faced with something entirely different.  These are all thoughts that will lead me nowhere.  I just wanted to say, whatever your problem/challenge is, keep being strong in spite of it.  You are made into a more amazing person for it.


Stuff Your Face: Toulouse Petit

Seattle has been the demise of my waistline, and it is mostly due to this one word/meal–Brunch.  Since S doesn’t have to work weekends up here, we pretty much go to brunch every weekend.  (Also destroyed–our credit card bill)  A few weekends ago our friends took us to their favorite spot, Toulouse Petit.  I’d heard of this place before, but found it really hard to stray from our usual weekend brunch at Macrina.  I’m so glad our friends brought us here, because to put it in their words, “it is orgasmic.”

Between the two of us, one of us usually gets a savory item, while the other gets a sweet, and we share.  Our friends convinced us that at Toulouse Petit, each person should really order their own savory, and then share the french toast for “dessert.”  Who has dessert for brunch? We decided to just take their advice and go for it.  We’ve been working on expanding our tummy space recently anyway, I was sure we could handle it.

I started with the spicy shrimp skillet with creamy grits.  I was surprised at how spicy and delicious this skillet was.  (I’ve found very few places that do spice and flavor well in this city.)  But the real show stopper were the creamy grits.  creamy…grits…

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I scarfed every last bit of this down, and then it was time for dessert: caramel french toast.


I’m not usually that into dessert (I’m not gonna call it a breakfast food, because it is really as decadent as a cake), but this french toast was so tasty!  If you happen to visit Toulouse Petit for brunch, which you definitely should, I have but two tips for you:  be prepared to wait or come early, and definitely get two plates!

Apparently they have “One of the Best Happy Hours in the Nation,” and being a sort of Happy Hour fiend, I’m gonna have to come back and check that out.

Toulouse Petit Kitchen and Lounge
601 Queen Anne Avenue North
Seattle, WA 98109

Pendleton Ponchos, The Portland Collection

Guys, I bought a poncho.  Never thought I’d be a poncho fan, or a Pendleton customer, but the Pacific Northwest has changed me. (It’s changed me in a lot of ways, but I’ll get into that some other time) I went home to Los Angeles for Thanksgiving and came out of my room wearing my newly acquired poncho. My siblings guffawed at me saying, “You’ve been in Seattle too long.”  My husband says the poncho when paired with my favorite long dress gives me a Claire Huxtable look.  I look in the mirror and think, “Dang, I love this poncho!” Not only does it keep me warm, but it effectively hides my entire midsection.

In case you are imagining a Navajo/Southwest inspired poncho from Pendleton, the one I got was on sale and part of Pendleton’s Portland Collection.  a.k.a Pendleton FOR hipsters, BY hipsters.  I found it at the awesome Pendleton outlet in North Bend, Wa.  While there, I actually fell in love with a few wool blankets too.  That, however is a purchase for another trip.  For now, I’ll have to wear my blanket-like poncho much to the dismay of my siblings.

pendleton-the-portland-collection-cream-banded-knit-poncho-product-1-4872969-270223166_large_flexP.S. This model looks really cool in the poncho.  I don’t look like this when I wear it.